SOULSCAPE
In front of the house where I was born and raised, rice paddies stretched out for about 50 meters. Beyond that was a steep slope of scrub forest that acted as a screen. At some point, the rice paddies fell out of use and now resemble fields, but for me, this is the original landscape. Strange creatures were swarming in the rice paddies and scrub forest, and wherever I looked, there were plants with strange shapes. The organic things I saw there are, to me, the origins of everything.
In stark contrast to the tranquil scenery outside, the inside of the house was a space dominated by tension. My father was there, with his own complicated issues, and if something didn't go his way, he would become violent towards my mother, who was much younger than me. As a young child, I was simply frightened and confused. There was no such word as domestic violence yet, and all that existed was a twisted sense of control and absurdity.
Until I stopped going home in my mid-teens, painting was a form of escape and resistance for me, as well as a weak means of self-protection.
I started painting again the month after the September 11th terrorist attacks in the United States. I was in my fourth year after graduating from university and had been working as a translation and literary agent, connecting English-language novels and other works for publication in Japan. New York is the center of commercial publishing in the United States and a major hub of global publishing culture. Half of the people I had met through my work were in New York. The shock and confusion were so great that I couldn't concentrate on anything. Coupled with several personal circumstances, something inside me broke down.
Strange shapes began to appear one after another in my work notebook and ballpoint pen, and I finally suspected that my brain had broken down. Two months after the terrorist attacks, I went on a business trip to New York, and from then on, I could no longer stop drawing.
I knew from my childhood that no matter how many pictures I drew, violence and injustice would not stop. However, I later learned that taking a stand, even if it was by indirect means, was not necessarily meaningless.
May 2025 Mario Tauchi
